So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
When are your genitals available?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
