grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
