She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
