I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
