Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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