Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
