how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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