8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
