the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
