omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This baby is an asshole
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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