I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
