I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
you never un-have a 4some
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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