dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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