Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
