I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize