we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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