Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
