I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
