Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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