lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
