so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
