let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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