shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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