Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
