I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
