u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
