making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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