he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
