dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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