You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
