More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
