I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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