RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
