Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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