i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I wear drunk well.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
