No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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