If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
