Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
