I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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