Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
