hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
