Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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