giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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