Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize