Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Randomize
