I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Randomize
