Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
