did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
