At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
