blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
