Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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