i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
