Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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