just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
