Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
