Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
