Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
