Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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